1. |
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beautiful crazy girl
seems too fragile for this earth
beautiful crazy boy
been busted up since birth
tough as nails
she tears apart her mind
torn up sails
he's always right behind
should've been perfect
should've been beautiful as they
should've been lovely
should've been didn't turn out that way
take another breath, dive back in
come up for air
face a blank stare
stand on the sides
criticize
shall we do the dance again?
beautiful crazy girl
always running for her lives
beautiful crazy boy
always sharpening his knives
grasping and holding on
doesn't matter right or wrong
grasping and holding on
always must stay strong
could've been perfect
could've been beautiful as they
could've been lovely
could've been didn't turn out that way
take another breath, dive back in
come up for air
face a blank stare
stand on the sides
criticize
shall we do the dance again?
beautiful crazy girl
wondering where she is
beautiful crazy boy
claiming what's not his
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2. |
453 (my front door)
05:12
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my front door reflects the world
as it goes by it does not see me
and that's just fine, i like to hide
in the place across from grace
across from grace across the road
my soul reflects the world around me
i must be watchful of what i hear and what i see
when i get home, my front door
reflects to me what i've reflected to the world
mark my skin, smoke me up
zhongguofan, jasmine tea in a cup
down the road, across from grace across the road
my front door reflects my tears
it's just been days, feels like years
the inconvenience of reality
is how convenient it is to hurt the weird ones like me
my front door reflects the haze
that's surrounding me these crazy days
and my front door reflects my smile
i like to wear it, it suits my style (yeah yeah)
mark my skin, smoke me up
zhongguofan, jasmine tea in a cup
down the road, across from grace across the road
my front door was supposed to open wide
to the dream in which our world finally came to life
but darkness turned the tide, now i have to fight
just to open up the door, just to go inside
there's no reflection without the light
i don't need wrong to see what's right
you are my sunshine without the burn
my front door and i await your sunshining return
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3. |
poo-flinging
03:05
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i was diagnosed with a high i.q.
doc thinks i'd be happier
if i were stupider
you know, stupid like you
but i've been watching
and i wonder if it's true
you don't seem very happy
doing the stupid things you do
stupid, violent, psychotic poo-flinging monkey
stupid, violent, psychotic poo-flinging monkey
there's another aspect to the diagnosis
you suffer from a deeply rooted, dangerous
and dark psychosis
even from a distance
it's impossible not to notice
yet somehow you're the only person
in the whole wide world
who doesn't know this
stupid, violent, psychotic poo-flinging monkey
stupid, violent, psychotic poo-flinging monkey
how do you strut
with that big gut?
everything you say smells like butt
every day you dig a deeper rut
oh well, tut tut
you'd be laughable, pitiable
if you were not so mean
suggesting that you have a conscience
is ridiculous and a bit obscene
contrivance is your only talent
you melodrama queen
crashing all around dressed in greed and envy green
stupid, violent, psychotic poo-flinging monkey
stupid, violent, psychotic poo-flinging monkey
how do you strut
with that big gut?
everything you say smells like butt
every day you dig a deeper rut
oh well, tut tut
i believe i've wasted all i'm going to waste on you
besides i doubt a single word of this has gotten thru
so you go on and do all those stupid things you do
while i apologize to every monkey in the zoo
stupid, violent, psychotic poo-flinging human
stupid, violent, psychotic poo-flinging human
you
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4. |
catch me
02:31
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so let me get this straight
after all we've been through
now you're gonna say we're better off as friends
i see
so it's come to this
well i want you in my life
so i'll play it by your rule
but i must confess i'm a bit afraid
of being played for a fool
you made me happy
yeah you made me smile
you made me laugh
at least you did for a little while
and then we started heading down a road
we both knew we should not go down
and in the middle of the darkest night
i turned around
you were gone
okay, now that you've broken my heart
4,5,6,7,8,9 times i finally see
oh yeah, you really love me
so i'll wait here, just a friend
for this foolishness to end
no, i'm running ahead
catch me
catch me, if you can
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5. |
watch you sleep
02:48
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all my friends are telling me i'm in love with you
and i think they're right and now i don't know what to do
i'm feeling things for you i've never felt for anyone
and now i'm fighting flight and trying hard
not to quit and run
i'm lying here, frightened you might reach for me
but i don't leave 'cause here is where i want to be
inside i'm all turmoil but i lie here still as death
and i watch you sleep and feel your breath
i am so frightened, see i've never been scared
except for my thoughts of you, everything is hazy
i'm getting all confused, like i'm going crazy
it's not my style to lose control
maybe i should run, before you own my soul
i am so frightened
everything is telling me this is love i feel
and if it is, that means the risk is real
i've never been afraid, i always take the dare
but this is different, this time i'm scared
inside i'm all turmoil but i lie here still as death
and i watch you sleep and feel your breath
and i watch you sleep
and i watch you sleep
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6. |
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he likes me because i'm crazy
yeah, i am totally insane
i say and do mostly - only - odd things
that no one else can quite explain
let's be clear now, i'm not stupid
nor am i foolish, nor am i inane
and it's common knowledge that brilliant people
tend to prefer crazy to the plain
he likes me because i'm crazy
yeah, i know, i know that's why he does
the more i'm crazy, the more he likes me
at the rate i'm going, he'll soon be in love
he's amused by the way that i'll start dancing
and it doesn't matter where we are
takes years off of his life, but he finds it thrilling
the way that i will goof off in the car
keeps him sleepless but he's fascinated
by my nightmares - they're bizarre
and he follows all my crazy daydreams
'cause he says the crazy ones go far
he likes me because i'm crazy
yeah, i know, i know that's why he does
the more i'm crazy, the more he likes me
at the rate i'm going, he'll soon be in love
i watch commercials upside down
i pretend that i have an accent so i can pretend i'm out of town
it makes me sneeze for hours
but i always stop and smell all the flowers
and sometimes i see sound
he likes me because i'm crazy
yeah, that's why he does
the more i'm crazy, the more he likes me
at the rate i'm going, he's in love
he holds me when i have terrors
like the heads that float in the fountain and scream
and he calms me with quiet wisdom
gives to me a better waking dream
and he loves me, strong and tender,
with a feeling that flows from him like a stream
and he stands by ready steady
as i step up on my crazy high beam
he loves me because i'm crazy
yeah, everybody knows that's why he does
the more he loves me, the more i'm crazy
at the rate we're going,
we'll soon both be crazy in love
yeah at the rate it's going
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7. |
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i caught you checking me out
so i called you on it and you said yeah
but that's not what you're all about
oh really
while you think i'm very sexy
you can see there's much more to me
you can tell i'm smart with a quick wit
i'm beautiful but that's not it
so you ask me out to dinner
and i can tell you think you're in there
focused blindly like a fool on his mission
but i've got my own question
do you think i was born yesterday?
do you believe
that flattery
will help you get your way?
i think i can tell you now there's nothing you can do
no matter how much wine i drink
i will never be drunk enough to sleep with you
over dinner your conversation
starts to highlight your frustration
it's an awkward situation
to say the least
you want to talk about sex and lust
and you keep staring at my chest
i'd rather talk to your best friend
who's apologizing for butting in
and i'm glad when he pulls up a chair
because, unlike yours, i don't mind his stare
i think he's much more interesting
and i can tell he's already wondering
do you think i was born yesterday?
do you believe that i believe a single thing you say?
i think he can tell you now there's nothing you can do
no matter how much wine i drink
i will never be drunk enough to sleep with you
now the time has come to go
'cause your desperation is starting to show
you keep asking, i keep saying no
no
i thought by now you'd've given up hoping
but instead you're desperately groping
i think that i've been perfectly clear
why do you refuse to hear?
oh i know my speech is slurred
but i've still meant every single word
you wouldn't stand a chance if you're the last man alive
call me a cab if i'm too drunk to drive
do you think i was born yesterday, huh punk?
do you believe that you're the first guy to try to play me this way?
i think even you should know by now there's nothing you can do
no matter how much wine i have had to drink
i'm still not drunk enough to sleep with you
i'll never be drunk enough to sleep with you
i can't find my car and i lost my keys
i just fell down and skinned my knees
but i am still not drunk enough to sleep with you
you better back off
i've had enough
if you don't stop
i'll get that cop
'cause i will never be drunk enough to sleep with you
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8. |
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you wake up in the morning
focus your eyes upon the clock
wonder if you remembered
to take your keys out of the lock
you want to call in sick for the rest of your life
you know, just quit
but you go on, get up and move to the edge of your bed
where you just sit
you smell like cigarettes
and you think "alcohol hurts"
then you stumble to your closet
and you look through your shirts
jump into the shower
scrub your body, wash your hair
walk around in your towel for an hour
now you're late and you don't care
the pain in your eyes tells more than your age
it tells of your struggles, and the sorrow and the rage
when no one can guess, you are always surprised
'cause you feel what they see, that pain in your eyes
you make it okay to work
all day you'll fake normal
stifle yourself, most of the time,
when you want to scream "my god! this is pitiful!"
you find yourself watching the clock
another wasted nine to five
but hey, it pays the bills and buys the stuff
that keeps you alive
you make it through to the end
of another meaningless work day
console yourself you haven't sold out
it's just another price you pay
fight your way through traffic
it's good to see your own front door
there's a peace there, but not the one you want
what are you waiting for?
the pain in your eyes tells more than your age
it tells of your struggles, and the sorrow and the rage
when no one can guess, you are always surprised
'cause they see what you feel, that pain in your eyes
you check your messages
yeah you've got lots of friends
the parties and the planning
my god, the fun it never ends
you know you're loved and wanted
so why are you so sad?
you remember when life was easy - and lonely
this is not so bad
you've thrown off your clothes
you grab the jeans from the floor
the shirt from the chair
return a couple of calls
brush your teeth and brush your hair
you've got your phone, your money
your id and your keys
turn off the lights and walk out the door
with the smile everyone sees
but the pain in your eyes tells more than your age
it tells of your struggles, all the sorrow, all the rage
when no one can guess, you are always surprised
'cause they feel like you feel
with that pain in your eyes
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9. |
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i can pretend i didn't stick my big foot in my fat mouth
and i can pretend you don't think i'm some poor girl
from the loquacious south
and i can pretend that you'll say hi
if i walk by
yeah, i can pretend
one of these days i fully intend
to learn a lot from my mistakes
but i've got this theory that taking lots of risks
is exactly what really living takes
still i know i'm not the only one
who wishes i didn't have to spend
so much time and energy proving just how well
i can pretend i didn't stick my big foot in my fat mouth
and i can pretend i didn't flap my jaw
and let all those words spill out
just like my drink
all those crazy thoughts i think
poured out in a puddle
in the middle of the table
good thing that i am so completely able
and willing to pretend
good thing for me, i guess, that you're so nice
then again if you weren't, i wouldn't think twice
something i should learn to do before i speak
instead of after the fact and later on in the week
by that time i'm busy trying to rationalize
and defend
relying heavily upon the fact that
i can pretend i didn't stick my big foot in my fat mouth
and i can pretend that i didn't boast real hard
and then express my doubt
and i can pretend that i was calm and cool
not some babbling fool
yeah, i can pretend
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10. |
the rain
02:55
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the rain beats down upon my neck
and i like it, so what the heck
i'll just go lie down in that green green field
and listen for the thunder peals
the lightning it reminds me
of the way we used to be
the way you loved me we could light up the sky
when i think about it, my my
the rain pours gently on my head
and the grass it makes the sweetest bed
it's reassuring me, this green green field
and comforting are the thunder peals
the trees in the distance look so strong and serene
and the air it smells so sweet and clean
here in this place i can find the peace for tomorrow
'cause here there's even sweetness in sorrow
the rain falls softly on my face
i swear that i could spend forever in this place
it's so restful in this wide open field
with the lullaby of the thunder peals
the road is wet and shining now
i do believe i'm finally finding how
to be thankful for each rainy day
as i go calmly on my way
the rain trickles slowly down my back
and my footsteps leave the slightest track
how i love that green green field
with the echo of the thunder peales
the rain
the rain
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11. |
we won't bite this time
02:11
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when are you gonna come down from the clouds?
we believe you've spent enough time out in the crowds
we've been waiting patiently
waiting just for you to see
we won't bite this time
we promise we won't bite this time
we promise to mind our manners
we promise we won't bite this time
we are all just fascinated by you
and we adore all of those crazy things you do
but we believe you need another rule
and we made you a schedule
and we won't bite this time
we promise we won't bite this time
we promise to mind our manners
we promise we won't bite this time
you do so many fantastic things
and there's your smile and oh-o the joy it brings
but don't take that all to heart
'cause that's where the trouble starts
we promise
we won't bite this time
we promise we won't bite this time
we promise to mind our manners
we promise we won't bite this time
we won't bite this time
we promise we won't bite this time
we promise to mind our manners
we promise we won't bite this time
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12. |
imaginary world
04:52
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i run and i hide
can't let you see what's going on inside
they say good things come to those who wait
that's why i'm scared, because i hesitate
i feel silly, standing at your front door
rehearsing what i was gonna say i came here for
i see my hand as it pushes the buzzer
i hear you call "i'm coming!" as you come to answer
so i run and i hide
can't let you see what's going on inside
they say good things come to those who wait
that's why i'm scared, because i hesitate
don't take away my imaginary world
'cause that's where i live
like a footloose and fanciful girl
no, no, don't
don't show me the woman that i am, she is jaded
ah, look now, see what you've done!
my imaginary world is faded
i feel like the girl, the girl from high school
no, that's not right, 'cause back then
i was more than cool
something about you leaves me feeling insecure
it's all that emotion, god it's pure
so i've got to run, i've got to hide
you're getting to me deep down inside
they say good things come to those who wait
that's why i'm scared, because i hesitate
don't take away my imaginary world
'cause that's where i live
like a footloose and fanciful girl
no, no don't
don't show me the woman that i am, she is jaded
ah, look now, see what you've done!
my imaginary world is faded
i'm still gonna run, i've still got to hide
you've got to want me deep down inside
if you think i'm worth it, well, you won't mind to wait
til i'm not scared just 'cause i hesitate
don't take away my imaginary world
'cause that's where i live
like a footloose and fanciful girl
no, no, no don't
don't show me the woman that i am, she is jaded
ah, look now, see what you've done!
my imaginary world is faded
it's faded
it's faded
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13. |
lost me
02:46
|
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i lost me after you found me
i got lost, all caught up in you
i started to look around me
and thought "i'm not the best he can do"
i started changing to try to suit you
and i became somebody else
i could not believe that it could be true
you could want me just for myself
you nearly broke me with good bye
i cried when we came to an end
that's when i told you a big lie
and said i could still be your friend
i lost you because i lost me
i'm sorry for all i haven't done
i look at all it cost me
i lost you, a chance, another one
although i'm still hurting from good bye
i'm glad that we came to an end
i'm sure that sounds strange but i'll explain why
when i lost me i lost my best friend
i found me after i lost you
i was dancing by the point in a window pane
i'm sorry for all it cost you
but i'm not gonna lose me again
if you ever need to find me
i'll be hanging out as myself
with all others placed behind me
i'm not gonna be anyone else
i'm just myself
nobody else
i finally found me
so that's who i'll be
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stephanie barbian Morgantown, West Virginia
classically trained in piano and voice. considered a wordsmith by some and a smartass by most. originally from st. louis mo, moved around midwest, appalachia and southeast. love music and texture. piano is my best friend. really personal? i'm a preacher's daughter, i like to work on my own car, my dream job would be snl cast member/writer and i love dressing in psuedo-costumes. ... more
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