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drunk enough (do you think i was born yesterday​?​)

from live from the gluck theater at wvu: at a moment's notice by stephanie barbian

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about

this is an actual date that started while i was searching for used fencing (seriously, what good can come of that). the only things that are not completely true are 1. i didn't skin my knees and 2. the guy WAS a cop, there wasn't another for me to fetch - the original line was "don't care if you're a cop, you'd better stop" but that's just asking for trouble.
i have NEVER played this in a show and not had at least one chick tell me it sounds just like a date she'd been on. guys who think it's funny tend to be cool, those who don't tend to be like the guy in the song. keep it in mind, fellas. we talk.

recorded live in an auditorium in front of about 7 people, 4 of whom were there to crew and made a wonderful audience, and were joined by 3 more from the station, including the lovely lena.

lyrics

i caught you checking me out
so i called you on it and you said yeah
but that's not what you're all about
oh really
while you think i'm very sexy
you can see there's much more to me
you can tell i'm smart with a quick wit
i'm beautiful but that's not it
so you ask me out to dinner
and i can tell you think you're in there
focused blindly like a fool on his mission
but i've got my own question

do you think i was born yesterday?
do you believe
that flattery
will help you get your way?
i think i can tell you now there's nothing you can do
no matter how much wine i drink
i will never be drunk enough to sleep with you

over dinner your conversation
starts to highlight your frustration
it's an awkward situation
to say the least
you want to talk about sex and lust
and you keep staring at my chest
i'd rather talk to your best friend
who's apologizing for butting in
and i'm glad when he pulls up a chair
because, unlike yours, i don't mind his stare
i think he's much more interesting
and i can tell he's already wondering

do you think i was born yesterday?
do you believe that i believe a single thing you say?
i think he can tell you now there's nothing you can do
no matter how much wine i drink
i will never be drunk enough to sleep with you

now the time has come to go
'cause your desperation is starting to show
you keep asking, i keep saying no
no
i thought by now you'd've given up hoping
but instead you're desperately groping
i think that i've been perfectly clear
why do you refuse to hear?
oh i know my speech is slurred
but i've still meant every single word
you wouldn't stand a chance if you're the last man alive
call me a cab if i'm too drunk to drive

do you think i was born yesterday, huh punk?
do you believe that you're the first guy to try to play me this way?
i think even you should know by now there's nothing you can do
no matter how much wine i have had to drink
i'm still not drunk enough to sleep with you
i'll never be drunk enough to sleep with you
i can't find my car and i lost my keys
i just fell down and skinned my knees
but i am still not drunk enough to sleep with you
you better back off
i've had enough
if you don't stop
i'll get that cop
'cause i will never be drunk enough to sleep with you

credits

from live from the gluck theater at wvu: at a moment's notice, track released December 7, 2011
i wrote it all, that's me singing and playing.
john casey engineered it live, managing to get a great stereo sound for the piano from a mono output.
lena got it all going and rick got it on here for me.

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stephanie barbian Morgantown, West Virginia

classically trained in piano and voice. considered a wordsmith by some and a smartass by most. originally from st. louis mo, moved around midwest, appalachia and southeast. love music and texture. piano is my best friend. really personal? i'm a preacher's daughter, i like to work on my own car, my dream job would be snl cast member/writer and i love dressing in psuedo-costumes. ... more

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